WANDERINGS OF A NOMAD

A melancholy evening is where I stood. The day had passed somehow; at times painstakingly slow, at other times without even letting me know. But it had passed and now the evening stared at me. Why, why did the evening stare at me with this cold, hollow gaze? I know the night would come soon and I would get lost in it, engulfed in darkness, peaceful in sleep. But how do I reach the night without crossing the unending chasm of evening. The evening got more plangent as the drops of time dripped into the ocean of day. I wish I could handle it better; maybe I could sleep through it. But I knew sleeping would only push me into deeper throes of unexplained, unreasonable pain, a pain ironically created out of vacuum. Why was all this so difficult? Image from: LuvARiddle.wordpress.com As a kid, I would look forward to evenings, time to play, to see the sunset and also to see a flock of birds returning home to family and safety. This has always been my favorite feeling and makes

A friend who is true is  possibly the best gift anyone can ask for and maybe I was looking for someone, sometime. This is one of my really old poems that I had the pleasure of finding written in margins of an even older book. While reading it now I wondered if I was still searching for that elusive best friend. And the one word answer is NO :) because I guess I made myself, my best friend. And I believe that liberates one from a plethora of pretenses, setting you free to enjoy your life the way you would want to. In darkness your face was a shadow I wandered everywhere to locate you I kept on looking, searching and roving Trying hard to find a friend who is true. Sometimes the darkness fooled my eyes Other times I was blinded by bright light I kept on looking, searching and roving Looking for you somewhere in my sight. Tears were streaming down my face And the dark clouds had already flown I kept on looking, searching and roving Wondering if answe

Time is a manifestation of chance. Well some would argue the other way, but everything around us the whole universe included, is just a manifestation of chance. And yet we continuously tend to ignore this Creator. Chance is nothing but randomness, yet we are so uncomfortable with this randomness. We crave for security, in every aspect of our life. But what if we changed our way of looking, just saying I want randomness, I want surprises. That is awesomeness, it is not the absence of insecurity or of fear or sadness but our ability to cope with and enjoy these emotions too; after all that’s what they are emotions. I know you are smirking…easier said than done   J   I couldn’t have agreed more. But these thoughts are maybe the first step (probably the easiest ones) towards any action. Passing by another day and another night The old eyes of time rarely lose sight Picking randomly much to chance’s delight Crowning some & leaving others to their pl

He would keep quiet and so would she....and then he would keep rehearsing the sentences in his mind time and again, framing them, correcting them, making them more and more casual. Unknown to him she would indulge in the same exercise...and yet none of them would gather the courage to speak out. They would rather live in claustrophobia, in denial, than take a chance. What was their fear, was it rational, nobody knew...and nobody would ever.  But why, why bank on words unspoken...to express yourself, why hope for words unspoken to create new beginnings? Why wait for the moment to pass away to tell someone, anyone what you really want to say. Why ?? Behind words unspoken she hides her tears, Behind words unspoken I cover my fears, A wall in between, as time stands silent and frozen, While we try to understand the words unspoken. Behind words unspoken I stifle my cry, Behind words unspoken she bids goodbye. Moving apart

Sometimes I feel like a question mark, Often curved but always not, Wondering what do I really want? Chasing answers, moving from dark, Sometimes I feel like a question mark.

He was sputtering and stuttering, he knew he could not carry on like this. He had to get out, he had to quit. But quitting was a sign of giving up, of losing and he was no loser. “I am a champion and always will be”, he affirmed to himself. Even when nobody was listening he would keep repeating this to himself, trying to convince the cynic inside of him. His rational side questioned, champion at what cost? Well this is how it’s always been in life you keep moving on, tirelessly, moving ahead in face of obstacles, challenges, turmoil and pain, but you just don’t stop, you keep moving ahead. And he remembered how he had always been told as a child that life is a race and one has to win at this race or die trying. Suddenly the latter possibility seemed more real. He had been an achiever, in pursuit of excellence and success and that was a noble pursuit and an honest truth. But suddenly the truth seemed hazy, vapourizing in the heat of life. And what would become of him if he

Mind and it's Moods I closed my eyes wanting to hear the silence, Nobody spoke and yet I heard everything Everything I wanted to tell myself, Everything that got drowned in noise of my life I saw sounds of different colours and shapes Slowly all started to merge into a bright spot A shiny, bright spot in dark background Sometimes an astray dot would dart and join the spot And silence started creeping in slowly, softly Suddenly before I realized the silence became delicious And I was just happy to breathe and smile Opening my rejuvenated eyes to the world around Feeling light in knowing I was a part of this silence Where I could return anytime and everytime.

Me staring outside... I stood still placed on the ledge. It was a bright sunny afternoon and I was reminded of my more youthful days, which had slid away silently. Looking back the sky always seemed to change colours, bright blue to a dark black and sometimes flirting with blushing shades of pink. I’ve seen grey skies and golden ones too and also the white skies extending into nothingness. The blood red sky and the green sky punctuated with lightening never failed to awe me. Why did looking at the sky form such a major part of my life? Well from what I knew of it, the sky was always there and everywhere. The sky was the God that brought out the sun and then hid it back again. It was also the God who littered around with stars and moon. The sky has always been so beautiful and complete. But today the sun’s rays were not the same; they had become harsher and at times burned out my leaves. Also there was no wind today; no wind, no breeze nothing at all. The stillness made me fee

Slowly I walk, steadily, towards where I want to be, but is here not where I want to be, then where am I walking to?  The now is the most beautiful of places to be, savoured, enjoyed and to be lived.  Don’t let the now become that time of past or yet to come of future. Picture courtesy: http://www.chronicbabe.com/articles/801/ Enjoy your now, it's the moments that make your life. And if you have lived each moment the way you feel is best for you, you have lived your life that way.

Is change natural? Of course it is look at the sun, the earth, seasons, day and night. But beyond the obvious change there is a backdrop of stability. For the sun it is longevity, for the seasons it is cyclicity. Drawing inspiration from nature is a basic human characteristic and one that I believe holds us in good stead. So to deal with change and underlying inertia of our lives I believe it is equally important to deal with it by juxtapositioning using both ritual with movement. Rituals :These are small practices that help us maintain our identity. Rituals could vary from saying a prayer in the morning to going for a run/swim during the day. They could be working for someone once a day, helping your grandparents, smiling when meeting people; anything that you believe defines a part of you that will not change. A ritual gives us a sense when we are inundated by change in all aspects of life. When everything around you is swaying you hold on these rituals to keep you grounded. M

I do hope you don’t read this, as it would make you aware about my cowardice and my hypocrisy.  Instead of doing some thing concrete I am hiding behind the comfort of my laptop and writing this. But I hope that of all the people who notice my cowardice, somebody, atleast one will stand up. We all wait for news to turn to old news and to forget about it. We are too consumed by life to worry about what has been. And please don’t forget to add me to the list of guilty. This is not a post about the victims, or the perpetrators of crime. It is a post about how we struggle to deal with social crimes which are becoming a harsh reality that all of us are facing today. By ignoring these crimes we now realize that we have nowhere left to hide anymore.  And more than anyone else who is to be blamed but us, yeah but we are scared, we value our lives and why would we want to put them at risk and maybe that's the right thing to do, or is it. Maybe it's time to realize that our lives a